In the days before the Internet people used to write to each other and if you were into noise you usually had a ‘wants list’ tagged on to the end of your letter. This list would contain a number of highly sought after noise items that, if you were lucky, would be sat on someone’s shelf awaiting a buyer. You.
In the days before the Internet I used to correspond with a chap in Wolverhampton called Paul Williams. Paul had a wicked sense of humour which belied his ill health. He used to listen to lots of noise releases as way of catharsis, most of which he taped for me, far more than I could ever physically listen to. And then one day the letters stopped arriving. To my eternal shame I’m sad to say I didn’t have the nerve to write to his address to find out what had happened to him.
On Saturday at the Crater Lake festival I passed his tapes on to the Filthy Turd. I passed a lot of tapes on to the Filthy Turd. In fact I passed on about 90% of all my tapes to the Filthy Turd. I no longer listened to them. He’ll recycle them and someone will listen to them and get enjoyment out of them which is a far better life for them than sitting in a box going moldy.
Paul Williams used to tag on spoof wants lists to the end of his letters. I used to print them off when I did the paper zine but during the recent clear out I cam across his correspondence and decided that these wants lists needed reprinting. Here for your delectation then is a Paul Williams wants lists. More to follow.
Hafler Trio - The Uncircumcised Ear. CD
Crisis Management - Monkey Virus. Cas
Willy Prader - Obesity in Surroundsound. CD
Willy Prader - 28 Stone Sex Drive. CD
Smallpox - The Wonderful World of … LP
Smallpox - Dirty Weekend in Burkina Faso. CD
Cock ESP with Little Oral Annie - Annie Get Your Gunk. 12”
Foetus - Thumb. 12”
Thee Psychick Zygons - Thee Evils of Stereo. CD
The Dads - No Wife of Mine. LP
The Dads - Happy Fathers Day. 2XCD [Obscure Jap psychedelic group of the 70’s]
Merzbow - Self Adjusting Symmetrico Restorator Corporiform. CD
Merzbow - Ninja Audiologist. LP
Merzbow - Iron Clad Cochlear Implant. CD
Merzbow - Pufferfish. 7”
Merzbow - We Do Not Give Change. LP
Eating Disorder - Zavaroni. CD
Hanratty - Stiff and Well Hung. LP
Aube - Chain. Cas
Aube - Cistern. Cas
Aube - Seat. Cas
Sutcliffe Jugend - Impotent Rage. 7”
Renaissance Noise Pump - The Buggers Opera. 12”
Renaissance Noise Pump - Choral Sex. 7”
Episiotomy Patrol - Dedicated to Virginia Rappe. CD
Episiotomy Patrol - Reggie No-Dick. LP
Episiotomy Patrol - Nylon. 12”
Episiotomy Patrol - Depilator. LP
Unley Stanwin - Wineglass Sonata. LP
Unley Stanwin - Works for Stringless quartet. 2LP
Unley Stanwin - Nonophonic Workshop. CD
Ceasescu Foundation - Petra Groza Hospital Disco. CD
Ceasescu Foundation - Col Corbus Limousine. 7”
The Small Parts - Choking Hazard. LP
The Small Parts - Peanut Envy/Buggered Almonds. 10” Picture disc
Robespierre’s Buggerboy - Ventriqual Anus. CD
Public Safety Unit - We Love You Idi Amin Dada. 7”
Con-Dom - High Pitched Communion Whine. Cas
The Francisco Lopez Big Band - Big Band Minimalist Classics. 2CD
Dysuric Grimace - Zine. Issues, 1,2,3 and 5
Parrot Face - Zine. Full run issues 1-7
Noise Constipation - Zine. Number 1 with Episiotomy Patrol 7” flexi
The Dilators - Just Vaginal. Thank You. 7”
The Dilators - Why Rape Her When You Can Dilate Her? LP
Eels For Pleasure - Supreme Elephantine Bukake. CD
Eels For Pleasure - Bestial Porn Fluffer. 12”
Eels For Pleasure - Syrup of Pigs. CD
Jalapeno Exlax - I Wanna be Penderecki’s Dog. 7”
Psychic TV - Magnolia Emulsion. LP
The Shitartist - The Ambient Colitis Collection. 2CD
The Shitartist - Foaming Diarrhea Variations. CD
The Shitartist - Greenfaeces.com. MCD
Rhodesian Slang - Anthrax Spores in Bubblewrap. CD
Hanatarash - Hanatarash Perform Mahler. LP
Streisand - Dog Training With Electricity. CD
Spitchcock - Cast Iron Cock. CD
Spitchcock - Sculptures in Corned Beef. CD
The Porn Dubbers - Animal Farm Vs Nazi Atrocities. CD
Colonic Irritator - Ultra Noise Suppository. CD
Spilth - Lesbian Foot Fucking. 12”
Spilth - Lactating Granny Action. 12”
Neiil Cream - The Monkey Concertos. 2CD
Little Ilsa - Eugenic Music For Eugenic People. CD
The Quivering Flanks - Bolthole Misalignment. CD
Tumblety - Fully Automated Vulva. 12”
Tumblety - Your Ovaries in my Carpet Bag. 12”
Prolix - The Drone Zine. Issues 1 + 2
Carbonated Piss - Zine. Issue 5
Transdermal Listening Experience - Skinner’s Musical Box. CD
Acid Mothers Temple - Je T’aime Moi Non Plus. 7”
Acid Mothers Temple - I am Your Electronic Sophia Loren. CD
Acid Mothers Temple - Hypnogogic Mothra Mantra. CD
Shirley Temple Noise Consortium - Animal Faeces In MY Soup. 10”
‘Any fake lists should be given an air of authenticity with the application of tea/coffee spills, cup rings and manic pencil marginalia about ‘condition ‘m-vg+’, ‘ltd ed’, ‘col vin’ etc, etc…..’
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